The Monday Memo from John Stanko

530: Live Like You Were Dying

I had some time in my hotel room this week, and decided to listen to some music on iTunes. It was then that I listened to a song that I downloaded years ago and wrote about in a 2008 Monday Memo. It's sung by country western singer Tim McGraw, and it's called Live Like You Were Dying. I thought I would share the lyrics with you again and let you draw your own lessons from what they have to say. (If you would rather watch it performed, you can do so here.)

THE SONG

He said, "I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me,
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
And I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays,
talking bout the options
and talking 'bout sweet time.
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end."
How's it hit you when you get that kinda news.
Man what would you do?

And he said,
"I went sky diving,
I went Rocky Mountain climbing.
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying."

He said, "I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all of a sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition,
and I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again."

"And then
I went sky diving,
I went Rocky Mountain climbing.
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying."

"Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about.
What would you do with it? What did you do with it?
What did I do with it?
what would I do with it?"

"Sky diving,
I went Rocky Mountain climbing,
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
and I watched an eagle as it was flying.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying."

ARE YOU READY?

Are you ready to live today and everyday like it was your last? If so, what changes do you need to make? Do you need some calamity to make those changes, or do you have the courage to make them today? I am ready to live today like I was dying. Will you join me?

    Feel free to add your comments to this entry on the site where it is posted.

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I NEED $500:  If I receive another $500 before I leave Kenya on December 10, I can give two of our orphan ministries $1,000 each to buy food. Can you help me out?  If you can, please do so through my website or by sending a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882.  Write and tell if me if you send a check and I will front the money until I get home. Thank you and God bless you.

 

 

KENYA TIME:  I will be in Kenya this coming week. I will be conducting a three-day seminar from December 5-7 for The Pacific Institute and then a one-day seminar on Saturday, December 10 for Royal and Rich.  I am attaching the Royal and Rich flier to this post (click on it to enlarge).  If you are interested in The Pacific Institute, I can send you plenty of material that describes exactly what that is - which is quite simply the best training for goal setting and change with which I have ever been involved!  Write me for more information and then invest in yourself at one or both of these outstanding seminars.

528: Give Thanks

In the ten-year history of the Monday Memo, I have never done one with a Thanksgiving theme.  Since this coming Thursday is the Thanksgiving holiday here in the States, I thought it was about time that I did so. Without further ado, let's celebrate Thanksgiving together, no matter where in the world you live.

THE OLD FOLKS

When I was younger, I would ask some older folks in church, "How are you doing?"  They would answer, "I got up this morning, so I am fine."  I remember thinking, "That's kind of simplistic."  Now I am 61 years old and I have buried some of my friends and peers.  When I arise in the morning, I now find myself thanking God that He gave me another day. Suddenly what those older folks had to say doesn't sound so strange.

In fact, when I get up these days, I have a litany of things for which I give thanks.  I won't go into them here, but with age comes the realization of and appreciation for what the Lord had done for me, in me and with me.  I meditate on what the psalmist wrote: "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12).  I don't know how many days I have left, but let's say I live to be my mother's age of 92.  That means I have about 11,000 days left.  If I live to be my father's age, I have about 7,000 left.  While that would be nice, I may only have one left, so I want to make the most of each one of them, whether one or 11,000. 

In order to do that, however, I must flow from a foundation of gratefulness, to God first for His unmeasured grace and to others, who have also extended me much grace in light of my imperfections and sinful tendencies.

THE QUOTE

This past week, I posted a quote on FaceBook that caught a lot of people's attention.  Picasso, the great painter, once said, "Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."  While I am very thankful for today, I want to make the most of it by doing what I can with what I have.  I want to run as fast, as far and as long as I can, and if that is a month longer or 30 years, I am already thankful for whatever opportunities the Lord gives me.

As we approach Thanksgiving Day this week in the U.S., I urge you to make it a day of thanks that won't exist in isolation but will become a regular part of your daily devotions and discipline. Then once you have thanked God for His goodness, I want you to attack the days you have left, to number them as the psalmist wrote, so you will have a heart of wisdom.

If you live in the U. S., Happy Thanksgiving.  If you live outside the U.S., I invite you to join me in a day and a lifestyle of gratitude.  Have a blessed week!

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ZIMBABWE, HERE I COME:  I will be back in Zimbabwe for the first time since December, 2007 starting November 27.  If you would like to be part of my visit, you can read about my schedule here.  I look forward to seeing all my friends there when I return. 

NEED FOOD MONEY:  I depart this Friday for Zimbabwe and Kenya.  I can certainly use more cash to distribute to the orphans and widows there.  If you can give a special Thanksgiving offering, please do so through my website or by sending a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882.  Thank you and God bless you! 

473: No Need to Pray

Did you do your work to identify and explain your values this past week?  If not, then I would suggest you not move on until you have done so. Your values are an important part of your Purpose progress, especially if you have accepted the Purpose Challenge I issued in August. (If you don't know about the Challenge, you can read about it here.)

What role do your values play in your life?  They help make decisions easier, for your values are so deeply ingrained in you that you don't even have to pray about your actions before you act in accordance with your values.  Are you surprised that I wrote you don't need to pray?  My purpose is not to shock you, but I stand by what I wrote.  If you need further clarification on why I write that, please read on.

PAUL'S VALUES

It seems that Paul had certain behaviors that were directed by his personal values in each and every instance.  We don't see that the Lord directed him to do these things and his actions while not unbiblical were not directed by a clear biblical mandate.  He didn't pray about doing these things; he just did them.  What were some of his values?

1. He took no financial support from those among whom he worked (see Acts 20:33-35).
2. He built on no one else's foundation, but went to minister where no one had ever been (see Romans 15:20).
3. He always went to the synagogue first in any area he visited (see Acts 13:13-15).
4. He traveled with a team (see Acts 16:6-13).

Paul's success in part was due to his development of and adherence to these values that allowed him to do a great deal of work in a short amount of time. 

DEEP DOWN PRIORITIES    

How do values develop in your life and work and why are they so powerful to lead and guide you? Let's assume that at one time in your life you were homeless and penniless. This went on for some time in your life and then God miraculously delivered you to what you have today.  If God's work was complete in you, you would probably always have a heart for others who are homeless.  If they approached you for help, you would do what you could to help them. Your values can be so powerful that God would have to intervene to keep you from acting - that's how deep down inside you they reside.

Another example would be if you have lost a child.  You would do what you can to comfort and support others who also lose a child.  Your value of compassion and empathy would move you to action.  I think it's safe to say you would not even have to pray about what to do; your values would spur you to godly action.

Your values are priorities that rest deep down in your being. They are there to make your decisions to act easier and quicker.  Your values also tell you where to devote your time and money, making your job of setting goals and managing your time that much easier.  You must trust that God helped establish those values through His work in your life, so you can trust them to help you make decisions that will please Him.

Last week I gave you an assignment to write out your values.  If you didn't have time or are just hearing about that assignment, you can catch up by reading it here.  Next week we will move on to discuss goals, so you want to finish up your values this week so you will be ready to set your goals next week.    You can pray about your values but after that the time for praying will be over and the time for action will be here.  Have a great week working on your values. Amen.

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Please consider helping HIV/AIDS orphans and widows in Kenya as we approach this holiday season.  Read how you can do something significant for them here and here.  Thank you!

472: Important to You

More than 500 people are involved in the Purpose Challenge, having taken the Purpose Assessment on my website and then committing to improve their score 15 points by December 31. Are you one of the 500?  If not, there is still time. Take the Assessment and then catch up with the Memos from the last six weeks, all of which are being written with the express purpose of helping you improve your score.  If you have taken the Challenge, how is your journaling going? We devoted the last two Memos to journaling and this week I have an assignment that is perfect for your new journaling discipline.

I am regularly asked one question when I teach on goals or productivity: “There are so many things I want to do and feel like I need to do - how can I find the time to do them?” My answer is that you cannot find time; you already have all the time there is -- 24 hours every day.  Often you must stop doing something before you can do the things you need or would like to do.  I have found that a key is to clarify your values and then allow your goals and daily tasks to flow out of your values system.  Let me give you an example.

FINISHING SCHOOL

One of my ten values is that “I am a learner.”  I don’t want to stop learning or I will stop growing as a leader and person.  Since learning is a value, I set a goal every year to read or listen to five books every month.  So far this year, I have finished 40 books.  Do you see how my goal isn't something I have to do; it's something I choose to do?  It is like brushing my teeth; I read every day because it is important to me. I don't even have to think about it.

And now I endured a grueling class schedule and study program to earn an advanced degree at the age of 60, for which I am finishing my class project as I write this. Why would I do this?  I do it because it's a value.  What's more, I do it because I love it.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU?

This week I want you to work on your values and put on paper what is most important to you.  I want you to look at those values and in the coming weeks you will see if those are only words or if you can translate them into action. Here is how to get started.

1. Below I have uploaded the article “How to Define Your Governing Values." This article is an actual chapter from my book, So Many Leaders, So Little Leadership and also includes my updated values from April, 2010.  (If you already have that book, refer to chapter two.)  Read through the article to get an idea of how I recommend you go about recognizing and writing our your values.  Don't worry if it seems a bit strange or awkward.  There is no wrong way to do it.  You won't be tested; this is for your eyes only!
2. Set aside one or two hours this week. Get up early each morning, don’t watch television this week, but do whatever you have to do to find two hours this week.  Promise yourself that you will do this and keep the commitment.  (If you already have your values defined, is it time to review what you have?)
3. Write out your values just like I have written mine.  Don't write, "I hope to," "I always try," " By God's grace I will."  You write your values in first person present tense. They are faith affirmations of who you are not who you hope to be.  It doesn't matter that you imperfectly apply your values, so don't worry about lying.  It's not a lie; you are simply talking about things that are not as though they are. That's exactly what God does.

You have your assignment. Don't stress our or procrastinate.  Spend some time this week and put down on paper, preferably your journal, what is important to you and next week we will discuss how you can apply what you learn this week.  Have a great week clarifying what is important to you!

Download Updated Values

468: A Values-Driven Life

I trust you are one of the 328 people who have accepted my PurposeChallenge.  In case you haven't heard, I am asking that you take the Purpose Assessment on my website and then accept the challenge to increase your score by 15 points between now and the end of the year.  I am writing specifically to help you increase that score and I have been focusing on goal-setting as a means to be more purposeful the last several weeks.

I am regularly asked one question when I teach on goals or productivity: “There are so many things I want to do and feel like I need to do - how can I find the time to do them?” My answer is that you cannot find time; you already have all the time there is -- 24 hours every day.  Often you must stop doing something before you can do the things you need or would like to do.  I have found that a key is to clarify your values and then allow your goals and daily tasks to flow out of your values system.  Let me give you an example.

A SECOND DOCTORATE

One of my ten values is that “I am a learner.”  I don’t want to stop learning or I will stop growing as a leader and person.  Since learning is a value, I set a goal every year to read or listen to five books every month.  So far this year, I have finished 35 books. In the last five years, I have listened to our read almost 300 books!  Do you see how my goal isn't something I have to do? It's something I choose to do.  It is like brushing my teeth; I read every day because it is important to me. I don't even have to think about it.

I recently completed a grueling class schedule and study program to earn my second doctorate at the age of 61. Why would I do this?  I do it because learning is a value.  What's more, I do it because I love it. Identifying your values isn't the most exciting work you can do, but it's important work nonetheless. With that in mind, I have an assignment for you, especially if you have accept my PurposeChallenge.

YOUR TURN

1.    Go to my website and download the article entitled “How to Define Your Governing Values." This article is an excerpt from my book, So Many Leaders, So Little Leadership.  (If you already have that book, refer to chapter two.)  Read through the article to get an idea of how I recommend you go about recognizing and writing our your values.  Don't worry if it seems a bit strange or awkward.  There is no wrong way to do it.  You won't be tested; this is for your eyes only!

2.    Set aside one or two hours this week. Get up early each morning, don’t watch television this week, but do whatever you have to do to find two hours this week.  Promise yourself that you will do this and keep the commitment.  (If you already have your values defined, is it time to review what you have?)

3.    Once you have identified your values following my instructions, you can then begin to set goals and daily activities focusing on things that you value, things that should govern your life and time by their prominent place in your heart.

4.  Most importantly, you may have to have a stop to-do list that will free up some time currently devoted to the urgent that you can then invest in the important. 

There is no shortcut to being productive and self-disciplined.  If you are serious about answering the question, “How do I find time to do important things?”, however, you must be serious about defining and writing out your values.  This exercise is an important step in being more purposeful, so get to work and write out those values today.  Then let your values drive your decisions and guide your life of purpose and goals.  As you do, I know that you will have many great weeks, including this one.

407: You Are What You Eat

As promised last week, we are starting a new series that will focus on Daniel in the Old Testament. I think I have enough material for an eight or nine week series, but let's see how it goes as we move through the material. 

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED

In most American high schools, graduating seniors elect one of their classmates whom they deem most likely headed to future success.  Daniel didn’t go to high school, but if he had, he would have been elected.  How do I know this?  Let’s consider the kind of young people that King Nebuchadnezzar was looking for to serve in his kingdom:  “Young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace” (Daniel 1:4). 

Since Daniel was chosen, we know that he qualified based on the listed criteria—smart and good-looking.  Daniel had a bright future in his homeland of Judah, but God had other plans.  Before he knew it, this young teenager was whisked off to Babylon, selected for royal duty and given a three-year crash course in Babylonian culture.  

What was involved in this crash course?  Daniel was sent to language school.  Then he was given a new name – Beltheshezzar—which contained the name of one of the main Babylonian gods, Bel.  He was placed under the care of the chief of the eunuchs.  Now I ask you:  Why would Daniel be under this man unless they had made Daniel a eunuch himself?   Can you imagine?  Here was this bright young man, with his whole future ahead of him.  Suddenly he’s living in a foreign land, called by the name of a foreign god, learning a strange culture, and facing a future that didn’t include a wife and family!  

Yet Daniel distinguished himself throughout his Babylonian career.  He was a man of skill and efficiency and also penned a book in the Bible that carries his name.  What enabled this man to be so successful?

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. 

Daniel was a man of purpose, but he was also a man of values.  When he first arrived in Babylon to become a royal official, he was assigned royal rations to eat.  Daniel, however, refused:  “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way” (Daniel 1:8).  If I am a teenager, having gone through all that Daniel had been through, the last thing I would have been concerned with was eating the local food.  Daniel knew the dietary laws of a Jew, however, and was determined to maintain a kosher diet even in Babylon.  As a young man, Daniel knew what was important to him and he was determined to follow those values no matter what.  

The most impressive thing to me is that Daniel had such well-defined values at an early age.  The second most impressive thing is that he was committed to follow them, even in a foreign land after his life had been turned upside down.  Have you defined your values?  If so, do you think you could follow them if you went through what Daniel went through?  I’m not sure that I could.

So your assignment this week is to do some work to define your values.  If they worked for Daniel, they will work for you.  I have an article on my website outlining how to do this entitled “How to Define Your Governing Values.” Can you spend 60 minutes this week giving thought and expression to what is important to you?  I certainly hope you can, for values are a critical part of your PurposeQuest.  As you work on yours, I will also review mine this week to see if they need adjusted and, more importantly, to determine if I’m living them!  If I can help you, let me know.  Otherwise have a great week!  I know I will.

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1. THE SOPHIA FUND UPDATE:  $267 came in last week for The Sophia Fund, which is a great week of income for which I am grateful.  As you know by now, I am using the money to feed AIDS orphans and widows in Kenya and Zimbabwe.

I wrote an update and a thank you for those who have given to the Fund four weeks ago and you can read it here. You can also read about my rationale for The Fund here (named after my late mother).

Please consider a contribution of at least $5 toward the fund and hopefully more. You can use the "Chipin" widget on the Monday Memo site to contribute, or go directly to my website to contribute there through PayPal, or send a tax-deductible check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 91099, Pittsburgh, PA 15221. Make sure you let me know it is for The Sophia Fund. Don't delay; give today and make a difference in the world. If you give a gift of $35 or more up until July 31, I will send you a free copy of my latest book, Changing the Way We Do Church: 7 Steps to Purposeful Reformation, which is pictured to the left. 

2. REVELATION: I still need your help, although I had two good leads for publishing two weeks ago but no money. Every week I am ready to remove this plea and every week I feel the Lord tell me to keep it in.  I have finished a devotional focusing on the book of Revelation and I feel an urgent need to self-publish this work, which will cost about $2,500. I wrote about this project in my blog a few months ago and encourage you to read what I wrote there. You can also read some sample excerpts of the book here.

In that post, I explain my urgency in wanting to get it out for people to read. Once you read my rationale, please consider if the Lord wants you to help me to restore an important book of the Bible that has been distorted by so many weird interpretations. I know there is someone out there who is going to help me with this project.  Maybe it is you.

Monday Memo 360: You Have an Assignment

I am regularly asked one question when I teach on goals or productivity: “There are so many things I want to do and feel like I need to do - how can I find the time to do them?” My answer is that you cannot find time; you already have all the time there is -- 24 hours every day.  Often you must stop doing something before you can do the things you need or would like to do.  I have found that a key is to clarify your values and then allow your goals and daily tasks to flow out of your values system.  Let me give you an example.

BACK TO SCHOOL

One of my ten values is that “I am a learner.”  I don’t want to stop learning or I will stop growing as a leader and person.  Since learning is a value, I set a goal every year to read or listen to five books every month.  So far this year, I have finished 35 books.  Do you see how my goal isn't something I have to do; it's something I choose to do?  It is like brushing my teeth; I read every day because it is important to me. I don't even have to think about it.

And now I am enduring a grueling class schedule and study program to earn an advanced degree at the age of 58. Why would I do this?  I do it because it's a value.  What's more, I do it because I love it.

Identifying your values isn't the most exciting work you can do, but it's important work nonetheless.  While I am sitting in class from 8 AM to 4:30 PM every day this week doing my assignments, I have an assignment for you. 

ATTENTION CLASS!

1.    Go to my website and download the article entitled “How to Define Your Governing Values." This article is an excerpt from my book, So Many Leaders, So Little Leadership.  (If you already have that book, refer to chapter two.)  Read through the article to get an idea of how I recommend you go about recognizing and writing our your values.  Don't worry if it seems a bit strange or awkward.  There is no wrong way to do it.  You won't be tested; this is for your eyes only!

2.    Set aside one or two hours this week. Get up early each morning, don’t watch television this week, but do whatever you have to do to find two hours this week.  Promise yourself that you will do this and keep the commitment.  (If you already have your values defined, is it time to review what you have?)

3.    Once you have identified your values following my instructions, you can then begin to set goals and daily activities focusing on things that you value, things that should govern your life and time by their prominent place in your heart.

4.  Most importantly, you may have to have a stop to-do list that will free up some time currently devoted to the urgent that you can then invest in the important. 

There is no shortcut to being productive and self-disciplined.  If you are serious about answering the question, “How do I find time to do important things?”, however, then you must be serious about defining and writing out your values.  While you are doing this and I am in class, I know that we will all have a great week of learning!

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LAST SHOW:  This week will be the last radio show for a while since the finances just aren't there to continue.  We will post all the past shows on my website in case you would like to access any of the 13 episodes I did this summer.  I had a blast doing the show and I know I'll be back to do more shows in the future.  But for now, it's time to move on.  Here is a summary of this week's final show. 

Episode Thirteen: The Purpose Craze

Did you realize that there is a purpose revolution going on?  What makes purpose so compelling and such an important topic?  To find out, join John and his special guest, Bill Rhoades, on the next episode of Your PurposeQuest.  Bill is the director of volunteer services at Light of Life Rescue Mission in Pittsburgh and has applied the power of purpose to his own life, while advising many others as they grapple with the issues of purpose in their own life. 

Missed the live show?  This episode is broadcast at 9 AM Eastern and then rebroadcast at 9 AM Eastern and 6 PM Pacific. Past episodes are available on-demand and podcast ready.

Listen LIVE to VoiceAmerica!

Questions? Comments? Call in during the show itself at 1.866.472.5787 or 5788

PURPOSEQUEST WEBSITE:  Thousands of visitors have come to my new PurposeQuest site since it launched six weeks ago. If you haven't been there yet, please stop by and make sure you take the free PurposeQuest Assessment that is available on the home page.

THE PACIFIC INSTITUTE:  My friends from The Pacific Institute will be holding training sessions in the Dallas, Texas area on September 25 and 26 and October 23 and 24.  As you know, this training program changed my life and made me more effective at everything I do.  If you live in the Dallas area or can make it to that area for those dates, I strongly recommend that you do so.  The program isn't inexpensive, but the returns are priceless.  You can find out more information about the sessions on the local sponsor's website.