The Monday Memo from John Stanko

The Monday Memo 261

I am on the run this week, but wanted to continue our momentum toward Celebrate A Failure Week, which I have determined will be held from October 1-7.  I introduced the concept of celebrating failure last week, and I already have some interesting feedback.  Let me explain what I don't mean by recommending we celebrate.

WHAT I DON'T MEAN

I am not exalting moral failures.  Nor am I promoting a cavalier attitude toward weakness and sin.  Paul wrote, "What shall we say, then?  Shall we go on sinning so grace may increase?  By no means!" (Romans 6:1-2).  I agree with Paul.  Yet I have known people who have failed morally and went on to reconstruct their lives, learning important lessons about their own weakness and tendencies.  I don't intend, however, for this celebration to make light of those failures.

I am also not advocating a spirit of wrecklessness or gambling with lives or money.  There are some who have a spirit of adventure and that spirit can cause them to embark on risk that is irresponsible.  I would say that if you enjoy risk for risk sake, then you must be careful.  You may be headed for a colossal collapse.  Risk is necessary to advance, but the risk is for the possibility of gain and advancement, not just to enjoy the rush that comes from putting everything on the line.

WHY CELEBRATE A FAILURE?

Here are some reasons why I feel it is important that we celebrate failure:

1.  There is a false sense of spirituality that says if you are following the Lord, failure isn't possible.  If one fails, then one didn't have enough faith or somehow wasn't spiritual enough.  I reject those assumptions.  Paul wrote, "We know in part" (1 Corinthians 13:9). 

One man wrote me this week to ask where failure is in the Bible.  I see failure in Paul's speech to the Athenians (some believe it was his best sermon, yet he got few converts).  I see failure when Paul wrote, "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me.  May it not be held against them." (2 Timothy 4:16).  I see failure when Peter vowed to die for the Lord and then denied even knowing Jesus just a few hours later.  I could go on and on.  Each man recovered from their failure and we honor them as saints today.

2.  I have talked to hundreds of people who are so afraid of failure that they won't even try to succeed.  Thus countless great ideas that are inspired by God languish in the hearts of his people.  If we can celebrate failure and see that in most cases it isn't final or terminal, then perhaps we can face the possibility of succeeding if we will just step out and try.  Failure isn't final unless you make it so.  If you can learn from and even laugh at your failures, then perhaps it will prepare you for the success that God intendes for you to have.

AN EXAMPLE

Last Saturday, I hosted a seminar here in Johannesburg.  I sent out a lot of emails inviting people to come and I charged a registration fee.  To be honest, I was scared.  What if nobody came?  What if I lost money on the deal?  What if it didn't go well?  Do you see how fear of failure could have stopped me from moving forward?

But I refused to give in to the fear and went ahead.  I had it at one of the best hotels and spared no expense.  I only had a few advanced bookings, but I prepared like 1,000 people were going to come.  What happened?  People came, I broke even, I made some new friends, I touched lives with the purpose message and made a signifcant contact that I think will advance my work and the purpose message here in South Africa.  Fear of failure or my actual past failures could have kept me from that wonderful success.

So let's proceed as planned.  The Celebrate a Failure Week will take place October 1-7.  I'll give you some guidelines on how to celebrate in the weeks to come, but for now, just get ready to celebrate.  I'm sure you will have a lot of material!

Feel free to post you comments to this Memo on the site where it is posted. 

Due to my hectic schedule this week, I did not send out a weekly Bible study.  I hope to resume next week.

The Monday Memo 260

It's time to wrap things up here in the States and head back to Africa.  I've enjoyed my two months at home, but it's time to go.  I will be hosting a purpose seminar in Johannesburg next Saturday (see below).   Then it's on to Harare for what I'm sure will be an exciting and challenging visit, given the current events there.  I hope you had time to read my special message I sent out last week.  If not, you can find it on the site where it is posted. 

I am thinking about it, but I'm not sure when to do it?  What is it, you may ask?  It's time for another Celebrate a Failure Week when you take time to reflect on and then celebrate the results of a failure in your life, whether it was recent or long ago.  This will be our third such celebration and they have always been interesting, learning experiences. 

FOLLOW MY LOGIC.

During one such celebration, one woman told me, "Couldn't we make these Tolerate A Failure Weeks?  I'm just learning to tolerate failure, but I'm not ready to celebrate failure!"  My view on the matter, however, is that we failure plays such a vital role in our life, purpose and personal development that we must value failure for the important part that it plays.

When I conduct leadership and purpose seminars, I usually lead people through this sequential argument where failure is concerned.  Perhaps you have heard me go through this:

1. First I ask, "Can failure be an important learning experience?"  Eveyone usually answers, "yes."

2.  Then I ask, "Don't we often learn more from failure than we do from success?"  People again answer, "Usually, yes."

3.  I go on to ask, "Aren't we as leaders and followers of Jesus to be learning and growing at all times throughout our life?"  Once more, the answer that comes back is "Yes!"

4.  Then I conclude by asking, "Then shouldn't we be failing as often as possible?"  At that point, the room usually falls silent.

That reasoning is why I believe it's important not just to tolerate failure, but to celebrate it.

So in the next few weeks, I will announce our formal plans for Celebrate a Failure Week.  I will ask you to help me by posting famous failures from history, maybe even some from your own life.  I will ask you to spread the word and get as many people celebrating as possible.  I hope that you will celebrate in your families and small groups by leading discussions and studying what the Bible has to say about failure.  I promise more to come on this in the coming weeks.

THE ONLY REAL FAILURE

This week I was listening to Marianne Williamson's book The Gift of Change.  In it, she said, "The only real failure is the failure to grow from what we go through."  (That's another way you will help me celebrate--by posting your favorite quote about failure on this site.)  If what Williamson said is true, then we need to allow that truth to sink down to the core of our being.  Henry Ford said that failure isn't the end of the world; it's just a chance to begin more intelligently.  I agree; do you?

So get ready.  Celebrate a Failure Week is coming to your world soon.  In the meantime, have a great, failure-filled week!

Please enter your comments or questions about this entry on the site where it is posted. 

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1. Plans are now finalized for my PurposeQuest Seminar in Johannesburg on Saturday, August 26.  We will meet at the Sandton Hilton Hotel from 9 am to 12:30 pm.  I will talk about purpose and productivity, with a lot of time for questions and interactions.  The cost is 200 Rand and covers the cost of the hotel room.   If you would like to pre-register, please send me an email and I will put your name on the list.  Or you can call me at  (079) 2130148 after I arrive in Johannesburg on Tuesday night.  You can bring the registration fee with you on Saturday and register right up to the last minute.

Feel free to bring your friends and associates; just send me their names along with your email.  I would highly recommend that you bring any youth with you who are searching for purpose; I have had great success recently as the purpose message connects with young people.  For anyone 18 or under, the registration fee will be R100.

2.  I will be one of the speakers at a Business Women's Leaders Conference on Thursday and Friday, August 24 and 25 at the Sandton Southern Sun Hotel in Johannesburg.   For information on the conference program or for information on how to register, you can go to the conference website. 

3. I need your help as I return to Africa for this next five-week trip.  If you can contribute to my ministry there, please go to my site where you will receive instructions on how to give through Paypal (you can send using your checking account or a credit card).  If my Memos and Bible studies help you, please give now to help me carry out my work in Africa.  Thank you if you were able to give last week.  If not, please consider doing so this week.

4. Here is my schedule for the next three months.   Let me know if you would like to meet for a purpose session when I am in your area. 

August 24-28 -- Johannesburg, South Africa

August 28-September 3 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 4-13 -- Israel

September 13-25 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 26-28 -- The Netherlands

November 4-8 -- England

Also, I am still leading a cruise retracing the steps of the apostle Paul from October 26-November 3.  If you are interested in being part of that cruise, email me and let me know.

5.  If you need to change your address to which this Memo is sent, hit the unsubscribe link below this automatic Feedblitz mail out.  Then go to this link and enter your new email address in the box in the right hand column.  You can add a gift subscription by going to the link and adding the new email address of the person you think would benefit from The Monday Memo. 

And the archives of past Monday Memos through number 240 can still be located on my website.  All others after that are located at my new Monday Memo blog. 

6.  If you would like to unsubscribe, just click the link below (if you receive this as an automatic message). 

7.  You can subscribe to automatically receive my regular blog posts by going to the site and entering your email below where it says "your email address."  Once you do, you will receive a confirmation email and can also easily unsubscribe at any time. 

8.  We are well into our study of Second Corinthians, and I will send an installment out every week until we finish.  These studies focus on four verses for every day of the week.  When I send them out, I send out a week's worth of verses.  I never make my studies technical; they are always practical and include questions to help you apply what you read every day.  If you would like to subscribe, go to the site and enter your email address.  I have all my previous studies available for free on my website.

Special Message

I apologize for this special message.  This is only the second time in five years that I have sent anything to you that wasn't a Monday Memo.  I'll make it short.

1.  Plans are now finalized for my PurposeQuest Seminar in Johannesburg on Saturday, August 26.  We will meet at the Sandton Hilton Hotel from 9 am to 12:30 pm.  I will talk about purpose and productivity, with a lot of time for questions and interactions.  The cost is 200 Rand and covers the cost of the hotel room.  If you would like to pre-register, please send me an email and I will put your name on the list.  Feel free to bring your friends and associates; just send me their names along with your email.  I would highly recommend that you bring any youth with you who are searching for purpose; I have had great success recently as the purpose message connects with young people. 

2.  I will be one of the speakers at a Women's Leadership Conference on Thursday and Friday, August 24 and 25 at the Sandton Southern Sun Hotel in Johannesburg. (I am assured of being the best looking man there, since I will be the only man there).   If you would like information about registering for the conference, please email me right away.  I spoke at this event in Harare two years ago, and it was really a great event.  The program this time around promises to be even better.

3.  I want to remind you that my PurposeCoach program is now available on CD Rom.  This is a seven-step, self-study program that focuses on purpose, values, goal-setting, time management and other key leadership development topics.  The cost is $699 and has already helped many people.  Isn't it time you invested in yourself?  Better yet, why not invest in one program and use it for your family or leadership team?  It is a great directed study program that I have put together that includes my personal involvement with you as your coach and guide.  If you are interested, check out this overview along with a FAQ sheet:  Download purposecoach_overview.doc

4.  I depart next Tuesday for Africa and will be home on September 28.  If you can financially assist me in my travels, I would be most grateful.  At this point, I have been home for two months and resources are low.  You can send a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 91099, Pittsburgh, PA  15221 or give on my website through Paypal using your checking account or credit card. 

5.  Here is my latest prayer letter if you would like to support me in prayer over the next 30 days.  Download august_prayer_letter.doc

Thank you.  Please feel free to write your comments to this message on the site where it is posted. 

The Monday Memo 259

It's late and I've been on the road all week.  Today we finished up a big family weekend in Maryland where we celebrated my mother-in-law's 80th birthday, our son's 29th birthday and our sister-in-law's, well, she didn't tell me which birthday it was for her.  We all had a great time but I was reminded that getting together with family takes a lot of planning, some hard work and thick skin.  It would be easy for everyone to walk away disappointed, hurt or angry.  As far as I know, everyone is going home still talking to one another.

I sat on the plane the other night before I went to sleep and wrote about the great week I had last week in Seattle and then coming here.  In my journal, I listed all the things I did last week that were so special. The list filled a whole page!  I would give it a 10 on a scale of 10.  And I plan on having another 10 this week, which hasn't always been the case.  How did I get the idea to rate my days and weeks?  I'm glad you asked.  Let me explain.

1 TO 10

Earlier this year I was training at The Pacific Institute in Seattle.  The Institute trains leaders in goal-setting and personal development techniques.  As we finished up one day, the facilitator asked us all, "What kind of night do you want to have tonight?  Think of a number from 1 to 10, with 10 being the best night possible."

I chose the number 8 and went back to my hotel.  The next morning, the facilitator asked us to rate our actual evening on the same scale.  When he came to me, I said, "I chose an 8 but I had a 6.  I was jetlagged, had no energy, just sat around the hotel and didn't sleep that well."  He then told me something I will never forget.

He asked me, "Why would you or anyone else choose to have anything less than a 10, any day or any week?"  He went on, "You didn't pick a number for the kind of evening you wanted to have, you chose an eight because that was the kind of evening you expected to have.  And because you set your expectations low, your actual evening was even worse than you expected."  Boy, did he nail me hard!  I was dumbfounded by what he said.

NEVER AGAIN

That was last February and I learned my lesson well.  I determined from that point on that I was going to have nothing less than a 10 every day and every week.  So when my computer crashed in Zimbabwe in May, I still had a 10.  When I thought I had lost one of my favorite cuff links, I had a a 10.  When I lost my camera and favorite pen, I had a 10.  Why did I have a ten?  Because I chose to have a 10.  My memories of that trip, as hard as it was at times, are a 10 across the board. 

I told my son last night that my computer is fixed, that we found my cuff link just last week, that I found a replacement for my pen on Ebay in Singapore (it arrives this week) and I got a new camera that is better than the one I lost.  I got the camera with frequent flier points--it didn't cost me a penny.  I didn't need all those things to happen to give me a 10, however; I was already there.

So what about you this week?  What kind of week are you going to have?  Not what kind do you expect, but what kind are you going to help make happen.  Living a life of purpose and productivity isn't an accident, it's a decision!  And I have decided already that this week will be a 10, starting with the drive home tomorrow.  Won't you join me in having the best week possible, and then won't you join me in doing things consistent with that ideal week.  Have a 10 week!

Please enter your comments or questions about this entry on the site where it is posted. 

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1. Isn't it time that you invested in yourself?  Later this week, I will send out that special email I promised last week about my PurposePartner program.  I urge you to read about it and then invest in something that will help you know your purpose and order your world.

2. I return to Africa on August 22 for five weeks, and I need your help.  If you can contribute to my ministry there, please go to my site where you will receive instructions on how to give through Paypal (you can send using your checking account or a credit card).  If these Memos and Bible studies help you, please give now to help me carry out my work in Africa.  Thank you if you were able to give last week.  If not, please consider doing so this week.

3. Here is my schedule for the next three months.   Let me know if you would like to meet for a purpose session when I am in your area.  NOTE:  I am going to have a purpose seminar in Johannesburg on Saturday, August 26 from 9 am to 1 pm at the Sandton Hilton Hotel.  I will definitely send a special message out later this week announcing the details.  Please email me and let me know if you would like to attend.

August 24-28 -- Johannesburg, South Africa

August 28-September 3 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 4-13 -- Israel

September 13-25 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 26-28 -- The Netherlands

November 4-8 -- England

Also, I am still leading a cruise retracing the steps of the apostle Paul from October 26-November 3.  If you are interested in being part of that cruise, email me and let me know.

4.  If you need to change your address to which this Memo is sent, hit the unsubscribe link below this automatic Feedblitz mail out.  Then go to this link and enter your new email address in the box in the right hand column.  You can add a gift subscription by going to the link and adding the new email address of the person you think would benefit from The Monday Memo. 

And the archives of past Monday Memos through number 240 can still be located on my website.  All others after that are located at my new Monday Memo blog. 

5.  If you would like to unsubscribe, just click the link below (if you receive this as an automatic message). 

6.  You can subscribe to automatically receive my regular blog posts by going to the site and entering your email below where it says "your email address."  Once you do, you will receive a confirmation email and can also easily unsubscribe at any time. 

7.  We are well into our study of Second Corinthians, and I will send an installment out every week until we finish.  These studies focus on four verses for every day of the week.  When I send them out, I send out a week's worth of verses.  I never make my studies technical; they are always practical and include questions to help you apply what you read every day.  If you would like to subscribe, go to the site and enter your email address.  I have all my previous studies available for free on my website.

The Monday Memo 258

Did you know that you smell?  No, I'm not talking about what you do with your nose and, yes, I should state it more delicately.  You have an aroma, a fragrance, that you carry wherever you go.  This fact occurred to me this past week while I was writing my weekly Bible study.  While studying 2 Corinthians, I ran across these words from Paul: 

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? (2 Corinthians 2:14-17). 

Let's look at this principle in the light of your purpose and see if I can't help you determine exactly what fragrance you are.

PAUL'S FRAGRANCE

Paul's purpose was to take the gospel to the Gentiles (see Acts 26:9-19).  When he proceeded to do that, there was a natural flow to his work.  Paul went to an area, God helped him gather a crowd, some people decided to follow Jesus and a church was started.  Before long, Paul left the church in charge of some elders and went on to another location.  He stayed in touch by letter, sending emissaries and return personal visits.

I find this whole process remarkable.  How was Paul able to do this?  By his own admission in 2 Corinthians 2, he did it because he had a scent that either attracted or repelled Gentiles.  He went to an area and, before long, everyone was taking sides for or against Jesus, for or against Paul.  Some would say it was a gift, others a callling.  I say it was his scent, which is another way of saying it was his purpose.

WHAT FRAGRANCE ARE YOU?

You've seen movies where dogs are dispatched to follow the trail of an escaped prisoner or missing person.  The dogs smell a piece of clothing or blanket that the missing person used and off the dogs go, following the trail of that particular scent.  The dogs know that each person gives off a unique odor, unless of course the dogs are searching for a dead body.  Every dead body gives off the same scent, while every living one gives off a unique one.  There's a spiritual lesson in there somewhere.

What are the implications to the fact that you smell, I mean, you have a fragrance.  There are three that I can think of:

1.  There is no use trying to adopt someone else's smell, someone else's purpose.  You have your own.

2.  You have nothing to do with this fragrance.  It is a part of who you are.  Accept it and make the most of it.

3.  Others are often more aware of your smell, I mean your fragrance, than you are.  What opportunities, situations or people regularly find you because they are attracted to who you are? 

I work with many people who either don't like their fragrance or don't believe they have one.  For years, I tried to wear pastoral cologne.  It didn't work, at least not as I tried to function in the traditional Sunday morning role.  When I stopped putting that cologne on, my true fragrance began to emerge.  Today I speak and work with thousands more than if I had tried to stay a Sunday pastor.  I stopped fighting my true scent and people have been drawn to, and some driven from, who it is that I was created to be.

So do you see now why I say that you smell?  Are you running from it?  Have you embraced it?  Do you accept the fact that God made you just as you are, with tremendous strengths and some limitations?  Don't spend another minute trying to adopt or wear a scent that isn't' right for you.  Instead, embrace the fact that you give off an aroma of purpose that is first and foremost pleasing to God.  And if it's good enough for God, shouldn't it be good enough for you?  Have a great week!

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1. Isn't it time that you invested in yourself?  Later this week, I will send out a special email about my PurposePartner program.  I urge you to read about it and then invest in something that will help you know your purpose and order your world.

2. I return to Africa on August 22 for five weeks, and I need your help.  If you can contribute to my ministry there, please go to my site where you will receive instructions on how to give through Paypal (you can send using your checking account or a credit card).  If these Memos and Bible studies help you, please give now to help me carry out my work in Africa.

3. Here is my schedule for the next three months.   Let me know if you would like to meet for a purpose session when I am in your area.  NOTE:  I am going to have a purpose seminar in Johannesburg on Saturday, August 26.  I will send a special message out later this week announcing the details.  Please email me and let me know if you would like to attend.

August 7-11 -- Seattle, Washington

August 24-28 -- Johannesburg, South Africa

August 28-September 3 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 4-13 -- Israel

September 13-25 -- Harare, Zimbabwe

September 26-28 -- The Netherlands

November 4-8 -- England

Also, I am still leading a cruise retracing the steps of the apostle Paul from October 26-November 3.  If you are interested in being part of that cruise, email me and let me know.

4.  If you need to change your address to which this Memo is sent, hit the unsubscribe link below this automatic Feedblitz mail out.  Then go to this link and enter your new email address in the box in the right hand column.  You can add a gift subscription by going to the link and adding the new email address of the person you think would benefit from The Monday Memo. 

And the archives of past Monday Memos through number 240 can still be located on my website.  All others after that are located at my new Monday Memo blog. 

5.  If you would like to unsubscribe, just click the link below (if you receive this as an automatic message). 

6.  You can subscribe to automatically receive my regular blog posts by going to the site and entering your email below where it says "your email address."  Once you do, you will receive a confirmation email and can also easily unsubscribe at any time. 

7.  We are well into our study of Second Corinthians, and I will send an installment out every week until we finish.  These studies focus on four verses for every day of the week.  When I send them out, I send out a week's worth of verses.  I never make my studies technical; they are always practical and include questions to help you apply what you read every day.  If you would like to subscribe, go to the site and enter your email address.  I have all my previous studies available for free on my website.