It's late and I've been on the road all week. Today we finished up a big family weekend in Maryland where we celebrated my mother-in-law's 80th birthday, our son's 29th birthday and our sister-in-law's, well, she didn't tell me which birthday it was for her. We all had a great time but I was reminded that getting together with family takes a lot of planning, some hard work and thick skin. It would be easy for everyone to walk away disappointed, hurt or angry. As far as I know, everyone is going home still talking to one another.
I sat on the plane the other night before I went to sleep and wrote about the great week I had last week in Seattle and then coming here. In my journal, I listed all the things I did last week that were so special. The list filled a whole page! I would give it a 10 on a scale of 10. And I plan on having another 10 this week, which hasn't always been the case. How did I get the idea to rate my days and weeks? I'm glad you asked. Let me explain.
1 TO 10
Earlier this year I was training at The Pacific Institute in Seattle. The Institute trains leaders in goal-setting and personal development techniques. As we finished up one day, the facilitator asked us all, "What kind of night do you want to have tonight? Think of a number from 1 to 10, with 10 being the best night possible."
I chose the number 8 and went back to my hotel. The next morning, the facilitator asked us to rate our actual evening on the same scale. When he came to me, I said, "I chose an 8 but I had a 6. I was jetlagged, had no energy, just sat around the hotel and didn't sleep that well." He then told me something I will never forget.
He asked me, "Why would you or anyone else choose to have anything less than a 10, any day or any week?" He went on, "You didn't pick a number for the kind of evening you wanted to have, you chose an eight because that was the kind of evening you expected to have. And because you set your expectations low, your actual evening was even worse than you expected." Boy, did he nail me hard! I was dumbfounded by what he said.
NEVER AGAIN
That was last February and I learned my lesson well. I determined from that point on that I was going to have nothing less than a 10 every day and every week. So when my computer crashed in Zimbabwe in May, I still had a 10. When I thought I had lost one of my favorite cuff links, I had a a 10. When I lost my camera and favorite pen, I had a 10. Why did I have a ten? Because I chose to have a 10. My memories of that trip, as hard as it was at times, are a 10 across the board.
I told my son last night that my computer is fixed, that we found my cuff link just last week, that I found a replacement for my pen on Ebay in Singapore (it arrives this week) and I got a new camera that is better than the one I lost. I got the camera with frequent flier points--it didn't cost me a penny. I didn't need all those things to happen to give me a 10, however; I was already there.
So what about you this week? What kind of week are you going to have? Not what kind do you expect, but what kind are you going to help make happen. Living a life of purpose and productivity isn't an accident, it's a decision! And I have decided already that this week will be a 10, starting with the drive home tomorrow. Won't you join me in having the best week possible, and then won't you join me in doing things consistent with that ideal week. Have a 10 week!
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Dear Dr Stanko,
This memo also touched me. I am making a decision to have a 10 out 10 every day, and every week. I have noticed too that when I think low or negative, I get that. So a 10 it is!
Posted by: Susanna | August 14, 2006 at 07:27 PM