Monday Memo 371: A Tribute to Mother Stanko

I wrote last week about a time to live and a time to die.  For Mother Stanko, yesterday was her time to die. At 3:40 PM, my mother went to be with the Lord and the most important part is that I was there to help her make her transition.  I watched her take her last breath, told her I loved her as she did and then it was over.  The nurse who came to confirm her death said that she had a look of peace and that many of her "patients" look twisted and tormented when they pass.  Not Mother Stanko.

NO REGRETS

In a blog post a few weeks ago, I said that I had no regrets where my mother was concerned.  Since my dad passed away 12 years ago, I called her almost every day I was in the country, visited her every Sunday, took her to see her family and on special trips and always included her in family celebrations.  My sister and I had a special 90th birthday party for her two years ago when family and friends got together to honor her life. When I returned from a trip overseas, I would first call my wife and then my mother and would say, "God bless America!"  She would always say, "Amen!" and then assure me that she had been praying for me while I was gone.

My mother was the most organized person I ever knew.  She would not only do spring cleaning in her house every year, she would start on the same day every year.  She never, ever forgot a birthday or special occasion and was always so early for appointments that I would always bring plenty of work with me while we waited for her appointment time to arrive.

My mother loved to eat out every now and then, but only in a restaurant that met her standards for cleanliness.  If the glass in the front door of the restaurant had fingerprints, they were disqualified from future consideration. My mother expected public places to be as immaculate as her house was and would not accept any excuse for sloppiness or lack of attention to detail.

GOD ORDERS OUR STEPS

God had to order a lot of steps for me to be present yesterday for her passing.  And that is perhaps the most important element in time management, something we have discussed the last few weeks.  I always count on God's help to see what I can't see and to order what I can't understand.  I try to exercise faith when I manage my time and I feel like yesterday I received a huge gift from the Lord by being present for my mother's passing.  I could not have organized that; only He could and He did.  If I shed any tears, they are tears of joy that I was in the right place at the right time to do the right thing.  When talking about time or event management, it doesn't get any better than that.

God helped me be there and I am learning to trust Him for time -- that if I can't do something, it's because He didn't want me to do this or that thing. I could have been in Africa this week, but all the doors closed for me to be there and I rested in that.  My mother could have died on someone else's "shift."  Instead, God worked it all out so she would go to be with Him on mine.  Thank You, Lord.

So farewell, Mother Stanko.  So much of what I write and speak about, you taught me.  You through me have blessed many people around the world.  I have often quoted your words of wisdom and will continue to reference your life as a guiding light for my decisions and work.  Until we meet again, I wish you joy in God's presence and I promise to carry on the family traditions and values that were so important to you, including always being on time.  Amen!

    Feel free to write a comment to this entry on the site where it is posted. 

Comments

[Wanjiru]

My name is Wanjiru Makanga Munene, I attended one of your talks in Nairobi, Kenya, and since then you have faithfully sent me "The Monday Memo" every week. THANK YOU.

This is the first time I am writing to you - to send you and your family my sincere condolences on the going on ahead of your mother - and to rejoice with you that you can look at her life with pride and joy - being at peace because you know that she has only preceded you - and you can say with confidence "till we meet again".

My mother went to be with the Lord on January 6th 2001 - and though no two such experiences can ever be identical - I feel I can relate. I was touched by your story - the last one and this one - I am humbled that you should so freely share your innermost experience with such a wide audience. I just want you to know that I consider it a privilege to be part of the group you share this with.

God bless you, give you His comfort, and His peace which passes all understanding. As you shed a tear, know that you, and through you, your mum, continue to touch many many hearts and lives - some that you will never know.

[Sharon]

Your memos are always an inspiration. I am sorry to learn about your mum’s passing on. May her dear soul rest in peace! It is indeed a testimony that God orchestrated everything to happen at the time it did. You could have been in Africa for sure, but God made all things work together for good. Thanks for sharing about your mum and the legacy she leaves behind.

[Cynthia]

Just to let you know that you and your family are in our prayers. And that your mum is resting in the arms of the Lord. She has Faithfully ran her race and I pray by God's grace we also faithfully run ours in the name of Jesus. Just to let you know that your memos have touched and changed my life for the past 2 years.God bless

[Beatrice]

MAY GOD GIVE YOU THE GRACE TO BE STRONG AS WE THANK HIM FOR THE TIME HE GIVE YOU TO HAVE YOUR MUM AROUND.

[Sheila]

In a sense I am sad to read about your Mother passing on, but on the other hand I’m joyful in Christ hat she went to be with Him which a an incomparable better place to be than here on earth.
May the peace and joy of the Lord fill your hearts and as you reflect on her life and yours and what it means now that she will no longer be a telephone call away… let it fill your hears with hope and a looking forward to our eternal home with Christ the Joy of our Salvation

Blessings always.

[Sharon]

Dear Dr Stanko,

Sorry to hear about the demise of your beloved mother. May the Lord's peace be upon you.

Thank you for all that you have shared even through your mother's teaching.
Thank you to Mother Stanko!

God Bless

[Andrew]

Dear Dr John,

We are sorry to hear the loss of your mother. You did all things well with your Mum and God honoured your commitment to her. May the memory of her continue to inspire you.

Proverbs 1:8,9 Listen my son to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

[Shawn]

Sorry to hear about your mom, but glad to hear the details of her transition. Sounds like both of you had peace during the process.

Blessings

[Regina]

Pastor,
Thanks for remaining faithful to God and to your course even when times are hard. i can imagine the pain of loosing someone you loved because i have been there. May the Lord God almighty strengthen you and your family during this tough time. I love and appreciate you.

God Bless

[elvis]

dear Pastor STANKO,

Sorry for the passing away of your mother. in fact, from what i read in your mail, we know for sure she is already with the Lord in heaven.

It is always wonderful to hear from you. you have been a great source of inspiration to my life right from the day i first met you in Johannesburg when you visited my church, His People, 2002. I'm from Nigeria, and i have since left South Africa in 2003 back home after my studies.

Thanks for your encouraging and inspiring newsletter.

May God continue to lift you up higher and higher.

Remain Blessed.

[Esther]

Hallo, I wish time could be turned back to when my father died last month and he had to go through much suffering at the hands of Drs. who at his last moments, against his wish tried to recuscitate him and in the process even broke his tooth +++.Am really touched by your message and have learned a lot. I love my Dad and i wish i would have would have been there for him like you for your mother.
God bless you and increase you!

[calvin]

Its very strange how people when one has lost a loved one but reading thisMonday memo i am made to look at life in a different way, so i am not going to feel sorry for but instead i am happy for you because God granted you your desires and that your mum when to be with the while with the ones who meant a lot to her by her side.I say God bless America and bless the work of your hand as you continue in bringing the best out of people around the world.

[Karen]

May your Mother Rest in eternal peace. John 11:25. Her Legacy leaves on through you. In addition,
May our God Almighty richly bless you John and enlarge your territories. 1 Chron 4:10.

You are a great inspiration and you are touching many for Christ.

Best regards

[Will]

Dr. Stanko,

Thank you so much for your free Monday Memo. I just wanted to let you know how it has blessed me in my walk with God. Also, he has used you wonderfully as one of my coaches, mentors and board of directors for my life's purpose. Lastly, in regards to your Mother's homegoing, I have been praying for you and your family.

You have been a great blessing to me, and God has used you tremendously to encourage me to consider possibilities, dreams and aspirations that I would never have considered or pursued.

[Georgeline]

Dear John,

That's a great testimony! Thank you for sharing it. It has encouraged me.

Sincere condolences to you and family on Mother Stanko's graduation. What a rich legacy that has been left you! May the God of all comfort keep you in His care.

Georgeline