The Monday Memo from John Stanko

580: Self-Promotion 1

I had a friend who was in turmoil write me this week and we chatted on Facebook. He was in turmoil because he is talented and gifted, but struggles when it comes to what he called "self promotion."  He asked that, after a lifetime of being taught that promoting yourself is wrong, how can he step forward and now talk about himself, his gifts and what God has put in his heart to do?

That's a great question to ask and one that I have pondered for a long time, so I thought I would write about it over the next few weeks. I will need your help as we examine this issue, however, and I ask you to respond with your own throughts once you have read what I have to say.

CONCEIT    

The main concern with self-promotion is best summarized in Philippians 2:3, where Paul wrote: ^"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves."  So many conclude talking about yourself in almost any situation is wrong or at least improper, and ambition is also considered to be in bad taste or downright evil. Are these interpretations correct?

Here are some thoughts off the top of my head for this week's discussion.

1. When Paul wrote his letters, he clearly identified himself as an apostle.
2. David approached Goliath and declared what he was going to do to the giant in no uncertain terms.
3. Jesus made many claims, although sometimes veiled to hide from unbelievers, concerning who He was and what He had come to do

Let's examine that last point a little more.

PUBLIC FIGURE

Jesus' family thought he was self-promoting and eager for to be a public figure as you can see from John 7:3-4: Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world." It's comforting to know that Jesus' family thought He was self-promoting. And to some extent He was - promoting that is, but without self and with a purpose. Is that possible for you and I to do?

Weren't Jesus miracles a means by which He could gather a crowd to announce the coming of His kingdom? Did not the Father make Jesus a household name and a celebrity in all of Israel? Did Jesus gather disciples whom He then sent out to extend His work and announce God's plan with even greater intensity that He did?

We are not going to settle this issue this week, but I wanted to start the dialogue with these thoughts. What do you think?  Is it wrong to promote yourself?  When, if ever, is it permissible? Does Philippians 2:3 prohibit any kind of ambition or marketing?  I leave you to ponder these questions until next week. Till then, have a blessed week!

    Please respond to this post on the site where it is posted and let's get the dialogue going.

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NEED YOUR HELP:  I need your help in two things.  First, if you have not already, please take the free purpose assessment found on my website homepage, from which you will receive a score to let you know where I think you are in your PurposeQuest. Then, please send me what you believe to be your purpose statement. I need them both for my next book project that will provide a profile to help take the guesswork out of describing your purpose. You can send your purpose statement to me at johnstanko@gmail.com.

ORDER COFFEE:  Today I ordered coffee from the Greater Bean Coffee Company.  They donate a portion of their profits to The Sophia Fund and I am grateful.  As you think of the holidays, order some of their coffee to serve or give to family and friends.

GIVE A GIFT TO AN ORPHAN:  I have updated my website page that describes what I am doing in Kenya and how you can help.  One of the new features is to give a gift of $35 to an orphan this holiday season, which will feed, clothe and care for that orphan for one month. Please check out the new page and then give generously to the cause through PayPal on that page or by sending a tax-deductible check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsbugh, PA 15221-0882.

579: Joy Feast

This week, Americans will gather with family and friends to celebrate the traditional Thanksgiving holiday feast. That made me think of a Memo I wrote years ago about having a daily feast, but that feast's main course is joy.  Perhaps this is a good week to revisit that Memo. 

JOY VERSES

When I think of joy, my mind goes to a few verses in the book of Proverbs. The first verse that caught my attention is Proverbs 14:10:

    Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.

No one can tell you what you should like or not like, energize you or not. You know what your heart is telling you when you love to do something, or when something is a drag. You can't explain it, justify it or dismiss it. It just is. I love to write. I love to work in Africa. Those joys are my indicators that those are things I am supposed to do. At the same time, I was depressed when I was the lead pastor of a local church. A pastor does a noble work, but there was no joy in it for me. So I stopped pastoring like that in 1993 and I have never looked back or had any regrets. I didn't leave church work; I just pursued work in that church that gave my heart joy.

The second verse is found in Proverbs 17:22:

    A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Joy, or lack of it, affects your physiology. If you have joy, you have a better chance for health. If not, then you are in danger of dried up bones. How often do you laugh every day? More importantly, how often do you laugh while you are working or doing whatever it is that you do all day, like going to school or tending your children? Laughter is good medicine, so doing what you enjoy is a health tonic of sorts. Not doing what you love is a prescription for illness, pure and simple. No wonder I feel so good these days!

JOY FEAST

The one verse, however, that really caught my attention is in Proverbs 15:15:

    All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

How many people I know who hate to get up and go to work. Their days are wretched and that means they are oppressed. How so? They have to do what they do and they somehow feel that this is noble or God's will. God does not oppress you by placing you in situations where you don't enjoy or find happiness. He may do that for a season to train you or develop some aspect of your character, but He won't do it for long.

Yet those who find what they love to do and then do it have a continual feast. They constantly feed at a table of creativity, innovation and significance. They have energy and an attitude that says, "I don't have to do what I'm doing; I get to do what I'm doing." Every day is a "ten" on a scale of one to ten when you do what you love.

So at what table are you feeding? Is it a table of meager fulfillment and occasional joy, or is it a table where there is an endless supply, a feast, of joyful energy? I refuse to spend one day at the wretched table of oppression, but only want to sit and serve where I can access the abundance of joy. I invite you to sit at the table with me, for there's plenty of room and there is no end to goodies that joy can provide. In fact, why not determine to take your place at that table today! If you do, you won't just have a good week in general, but a good week filled with seven joyful days.

Feel free to add your comments to this entry on the site where it is posted.

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GIVE A GIFT TO AN ORPHAN: You can give a gift of food and clothing to an orphan for as little as $35 this holiday season.  What's more, you can do so in honor or memory of a loved one, or as a Christmas gift in their name. Read about how to do this here.

LOOKING FOR A CHRISTMAS GIFT?: My book, A Daily Dose of Proverbs, is a gift that keeps on giving every day of the year.  This is perfect for any age and contains a daily verse from Proverbs with a page of devotional material. I have written 12 other devotional books and books on leadership and purpose that can be viewed and ordered here (four are available in ebook format).

RADIO: I have some good purpose interviews that you can listen to or download here.  They are all about 60 minutes in length and feature men and women of purpose, whose stories can inspire and instruct you as you purpose your own PurposeQuest.

578: I Learned to Speak by Not Speaking

Most people don't know or think it a paradox that I learned to speak by not speaking. If you don't think that's possible, it is true. To understand how I did it, you will have to read on.

ELEVEN YEARS

I was an associate pastor for 11 years from 1978-1989. While I had many chances to lead a small home group, I only got two chances in those 11 years to speak before the entire church. The second time I spoke was the last Sunday I was there before I left, so it's an accurate statement that I averaged one talk every 11 years. That's a lot of preparation time between messages, don't you think?

So what did I do for those 600 Sundays, plus conferences and special meetings, when I watched and listened to so many speakers? I got ready to speak!

I knew that one day I would address large audiences, even though I was far from doing that during those 11 years. So first, I would visualize myself speaking before people. I often tell audiences today that I saw them before I ever came to be with them. Second, I studied the speakers I witnessed. I watched what worked and what didn't. I decided what kind of speaker I would be before I ever got a chance to speak, just by watching and learning. I think the most difficult thing was to watch ineffective speakers when I knew in my heart that I could do a better job.

Third, I prepared things to say, even though I had no invitations or speaking engagements. I wrote my Life is a Gold Mine seminar in 1985, well before I ever had an invitation to deliver it. I prepared the slides, outlines and material. I had a few chances outside of my local church to speak, and I made the most of those opportunities, although at times I wasn't very effective.

Finally, I never gave up my dream, even though I had few opportunities to speak. I watched comediennes. listened and read great speeches of history and went to school to earn my doctorate. I did all that I knew to do. There were times I was so discouraged when nothing happened to advance my vision that I, well, I just cried. But I never gave up.

THE BREAKTHROUGH

Then I moved to Orlando in 1989 to pastor, and it was then that I also began to speak in prisons. I would speak once a week at the church, but often spoke six or seven times a week in a jail or prison. I went from not speaking to nonstop speaking. Today, I have no lack of engagements and I continue to hone my skills. My main preparation, however, was during those 11 years of non-activity.

What is the dynamic here that is important for you to grasp? I think it's found in Proverbs 22:29:

    Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.

I don't care what your dream is. If you spend time pursuing excellence and becoming good at what you do, you won't have to go looking for "kings." The kings will come looking for you. So don't waste any more time waiting for your breakthrough. Rather invest your time in preparing for the day when your breakthrough comes, and that preparation can begin the minute you finish reading this Monday Memo. Have a great week!

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KENYA UPDATES: I have no Kenya updates this week, but that doesn't mean there is no news! We are preparing the latest shipment of books and supplies. Last week more than $500 came in toward my $30,000 goal. As we approach the holiday season, I urge you to make a generous contribution to help me fund my work in Kenya. You can give through my website or by sending a tax-deductible check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882. 

577: Fighting Yourself

You are probably familiar with John 7:38: "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

There is a flow that is to come out of you and the water from that flow, while originating in the Spirit, should taste like you. It can't be bitter with anger or unforgiveness, and it can't be salty with lies and deception. And it should not be artificially flavored to taste like someone else's water.  Other than that, the water should taste like you.  Your flow should have your distinct characteristics as you carry out God's work and you should not apologize for this.

This is important because you may be among the many who believe that your water is 'bad.' If it isn't bad, you think it needs to have another flavor or maybe some fizzy gas added. Most people are fighting themselves, who they are, what they like, even trying to distance themselves from the dreams in their hearts. If that's you, can you recognize how counterproductive it is for you to be opposing you?

I love live sporting events. I make people laugh. I thrive when I travel and am bored with the mundane. I love teaching, and dread bureaucracy. I love to write and sign books, even shaking hands and posing for a picture or two with my 'fans.'That is who I am, what my water tastes like. Can you describe to me the flavor of your living water?

My writing, speaking and consulting has my "flavor," and it flows. Are you damming up the flow, trying not to be who you are?  Or are you filtering the water for impurities and then letting it gush from your life?  What's more, the water that flows is not for your benefit; it's for others to drink.  So in this case, it's alright for people to drink your flavored water.

Is there anything you enjoy doing or being that you are trying to curtail or even adjust?  Well, maybe it's part of your flow and you should stop interfering.  Perhaps that characteristic that you are convinced has to change is something God built into you.  When you oppose it, you are actually opposing God, telling Him He made a mistake when He put that in you.

So I will continue to smile and shake hands as I go, not worrying about why I enjoy it as much as I do.  I just want to be who God made me to be and if anyone has a problem with that, that is their problem and not mine.  I got tired of opposing myself and I hope you get tired of it too. Have a great week!

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KENYA UPDATES: I posted two separate updates from Kenya here and here.  Please read the latest news of the work there as we prepare our next shipment of books, clothes, shoes and supplies to honor the latest requests for more libraries and community support. Then I urge you to give a generous contribution today toward the $30,000 goal I have set to ship the goods and buy some food.  You can give through my website or by writing and sending a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882. Thank you for acting so promptly and generously.