The Monday Memo from John Stanko

Memo 1082: Dealing with Opponents

We saw in study 1080 how a man named Shimei met David during his retreat from Jerusalem to insult and dishonor the king. After God preserved David during the revolt of his evil son Absalom, David returned to Jerusalem, only to have Shimei be the first one to greet him as he returned:

When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king and said to him, “May my lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first from the tribes of Joseph to come down and meet my lord the king" (2 Samuel 19:18-20).

When David returned with his crown intact, Shimei was singing a different tune, this time humbling himself, hoping to spare himself any punishment for his previous foolishness. How did David respond to this man? Was Shimei sincere in his acknowledgment of his sin? How should you respond to those who have wronged you? Let's see if we can answer those questions in this week's Memo.

THE ANSWERS

Let's start with Shimei. Was he sincere? Or was he simply afraid for his life after what he had done? Of course, the answer is that we don't really know. Only God knows the heart so it's best to leave the heart matters to Him. Jesus directed us to judge fruit and not hearts: "By their fruit you will recognize them" (Matthew 7:16). We are to examine the fruit to determine if someone is speaking the truth or lies, and that takes time to see what kind of fruit follows what a person says. Only time would tell if Shimei was sincere or would revert to his nasty self.

To see how David responded, let's look at the course of action one of his advisors recommended: "Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, 'Shouldn’t Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord’s anointed'” (2 Samuel 19:21) to which David responded, “'What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? What right do you have to interfere? Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Don’t I know that today I am king over Israel?' So the king said to Shimei, 'You shall not die.' And the king promised him on oath" (2 Samuel 19:22-23).

In essence David said, "I don't need to prove that I am the king and in charge by killing this man. This is not a day for vengeance, but for humility, for the Lord has chosen in His mercy to restore me. Since He has been merciful, I will follow His example." That is just how David handled his first encounter with Shimei as he was fleeing Absalom, and he was returning to his throne in the same spirit and demeanor. There was no vengeance or need for retribution in his heart.

OUR LESSONS

What can we learn from this story? First, David knew it ultimately wasn't about him, and you need to remember as God promotes you that it's not about you. While David is a good model here, Jesus is the best model for He never took things personally. He turned the most intense sessions with His opponents into teaching and learning opportunities for those interested, and never retaliated for the wrongs he received.

Second, it's not up to you to mete out vengeance for those who sin against you, for you would not be as objective as you need to be in the process. Instead, you are to trust the Lord who made this promise in Deuteronomy 32:35: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Paul repeated that promised in Romans 12:19: "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." Finally, Jesus said a new standard for how to deal with enemies when He taught,

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:43-45).

If you are going to sit on and remain on the throne of leadership God gives you, you will have to learn how to deal with your detractors, and you will have some. Not everyone will rejoice when you are promoted so it's best to learn how not to be consumed by their backbiting or criticism. Keep David and Jesus before you as your models of how to treat those who mistreat or disrespect you and you will position yourself for God to be the one to fight your battles. Take matters into your own hands and you will spend time and energy trying to maintain a throne that you didn't earn by your power or strength. It was a gift of God and now you have a chance to represent Him by responding to others as He would have you do, even those who question why you have a throne in the first place. Have a blessed week!

Memo 1081: Preparation

Have you ever wondered why you have to go through so much preparation to come into the fullness of what God has for you? Does it seem like your time of training and discipline is never going to end? If so, there are some helpful explanations for you this week as we look at what happened to David's son Absalom after he led a rebellion against his father David.

A CONTRAST IN PREPARATION

We have examined in past studies what David went through to eventually sit on his throne. He went through decades of disappointment, persecution, and training to eventually ascend to his leadership role. We have seen that David learned not to take revenge on his enemies but to trust the Lord. David learned how not to lead from the hands of treacherous King Saul who tried to assassinate David on more than a few occasions. Yes, God did a thorough job of preparing David and, even though he was not a perfect man, he was always a man after God's heart.

Absalom, on the other hand, had to preparation time for his throne. He wanted it and he wanted it on his terms. He didn't hesitate to kill his brother who had wronged his sister, and then he began a campaign to woo the hearts of the people away from his father. Eventually, he rose up, declared himself the king, and pursued his father in order to kill him because he saw his father as a political rival. The problem with Absalom is stated in 2 Samuel 14:25: "In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him."

Absalom didn't see who he was or what he had as a gift from God to be used for others, but rather as something he earned that existed to benefit him alone. David had a chance to deal with his flaws on the way to his throne, but Absalom thought the throne was something he deserved and if he didn't have it, then he was going to take it by force if necessary—assuming he was ready and able. In fact, it was Absalom's beauty, specifically his hair, that eventually led to his downfall. Now you see why God put David through what He did, for those traits were missing in Absalom because he had no preparation.

HEART MATTERS

When I came to the Lord, I knew I would be a leader and I thought I was ready. I reasoned, How hard can it be to lead? God is with me, I'm a pretty smart guy, and He will tell me what to do. However, I was totally ignorant of my own ambitions and the flaws in my heart. That's why I had perverse bosses (before I went into church work) who abused and used me. That's why I was an associate pastor for 11 years but during that time only spoke twice from the pulpit. That's why I found myself serving in areas of ministry that I didn't like and where I wasn't comfortable so I could learn how to serve. God had a lot of work to do in me and all those difficult situations were my tutors.

In all my years of being on ministry staff, no one ever asked me what I felt the Lord had for me in ministry, and that was so I would learn to ask that of others when I received my throne of purpose. The verses God hammered into my mind and heart during those years were:

• "Slaves [employees], in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your master [supervisors], not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh" (1 Peter 2:18).
  
• "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).
  
• "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving" (Colossians 3:23-24).

While those were difficult years, they shaped and developed me into the man I have become. Today, I'm doing what I love all day every day all over the world because I submitted to God's preparation, as frustrating and confusing as it sometimes was.

And now what about you? Are you in a time of preparation? Do you see that God has to not only equip you with practical skills but also character formation so your throne will be a blessing and not your undoing? Furthermore, are you afraid to emerge from your preparation, waiting for perfection rather than the reality that you will never be flawless this side of the Lord's return?

I urge you to honor and cooperate with your seasons of development, for God knows what He's doing and can get you ready for your future, a future you can't see but can only accept in faith that one day it will arrive—and you will be ready. Have a blessed week!

Memo 1080: Piling On

In American football, it's not permitted to have contact with a player after he is down and the referee has blown the whistle. It used to be called 'piling on,' but today it's simply referred to as a late hit or personal foul. The purpose of this study is to help you understand what it will take for you to sit on the throne God gives you, and we're defining the throne as whatever purpose God has for you to fulfill. This week, let's look at someone who was guilty of piling on when David was fleeing the city because of his son's plot to overthrow the government and see how David responded to the 'late hit.'

THROWING STONES

As David was fleeing, many people came out to greet him and offer solace, but a man named Shimei took the opportunity to speak his mind and told David what he really thought of him. In this week's lesson, we see how David handled this descendant of Saul, who wasn't a big fan of David's life or leadership:

As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul’s family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. He pelted David and all the king’s officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David’s right and left. As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.” But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’” David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today" (2 Samuel 16:5-12).

Abishai, one of David's men, wanted to silence Shimei by chopping off his head, which would certainly have been a severe penalty for 'piling on,' the equivalent of a red card in football or soccer. Yet David's response is intriguing as indicated by the question he asked Abishai: "What if the Lord sent this man to curse me?" In fact, David came to the conclusion that God had sent him and chose to put his focus on the hope that God would restore his "covenant blessing." Even though David was on the run, even though one of his subjects was piling on when he was down, David kept his eyes on the Lord.

A BETTER ROLE MODEL

David provides a wonderful example here of not taking matters into our own hands when people oppose or even abuse us. Yet, we now have an even more significant and glorious role model of what to do when people disrespect us or our throne, and that example is none other than Jesus. Peter wrote,

But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:20b-23).

It's important to trust the Lord not only to find and sit on your throne, but also to trust Him to maintain your throne. Paul wrote this to the Galatians, "Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?" (Galatians 3:3), and it's a good admonition for you as well. If God has made a place for you to flourish and bear fruit, then it's up to God to help you maintain what He has given you.

If someone threatens or disrespects you, do what you can to protect yourself but keep in mind that God may be teaching you something through the trial and that lesson may be your ongoing need to trust Him not just for provision but for protection for what He provided. If someone chooses to "pile on" during your time of trouble, keep your eyes on the Lord and trust Him to restore your fortunes and preserve the throne He has assigned to you. Have a blessed week!

Memo 1079: Intense Times

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, wishing that things would stop coming at you so quickly and with such intensity? It's a common experience for us all, for when God gives you a throne—a place of authority and fruitfulness based on your purpose and gifts—it doesn't happen in isolation or a vacuum. By that I mean your life doesn't stop in other areas like family, finances, relationships, and ministry. Things can occur in any of those areas that will seek to divert your attention and energy to tend to those matters, which can easily consume you. That's exactly what happened to David as we look this week at his family's insurrection that almost cost David his throne and his life.

TIME TO FLEE

Last week, we looked at Absalom, David's problem child, and this week his son was back at it, but this time with evil intent:

A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.” Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin on us and put the city to the sword.” The king’s officials answered him, “Your servants are ready to do whatever our lord the king chooses" (2 Samuel 15:13-15).

David didn't have time to meet with his son to try and reason with him. He didn't have time to feel sorry for himself or others. David had to lead even though he was probably in emotional pain. We will see in a later study that David's heart was to save his son, but for the time being, he had other matters to attend to—like people who were still looking to him for leadership and direction. When you read the rest of 2 Samuel 15, you see that David had to make a number of decisions while still putting his hope and trust in God that one day he would return to his throne.

TOUGH TIMES

How intense can it get for you when you assume the throne of leadership God has for you? Probably more so than you imagined. This story causes me to think of the Apostle Paul, who was certainly no stranger to persecution and pressure as he carried out his apostolic duties. He shared some of his challenges with us:

Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked (2 Corinthians 11:24-27).

As if that wasn't enough, Paul added, "Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" (2 Corinthians 11:28-29). Paul couldn't take time to tend to his own problems for he was involved in the care of others. He had to lead while enduring intense times, honestly confessing,

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).

Proverbs 24:10 says, "If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!" The Message translation states it this way: "If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you in the first place." If you are serious about sitting on your throne, then you'll have to learn how to rule in times of trouble. Those times taught Paul that his challenges came so "the life of Jesus may be revealed in our body." Your tough times will do the same but only if you stay the course, even when the course is rocky and foggy. As one author once wrote, "tough times never last, tough people do." It's time to see how tough you really are, or rather how tough the God in you can make you to be! Have a blessed week.