The Monday Memo from John Stanko

535: The Five Regrets of the Dying

I found a link to an article over the holidays and wanted to share it first chance I had, so this looks like a good week.  It's written by an Australian woman, Bronnie Ware, and can be found in its entirety here.  I will summarize the five points of her article "The Five Regrets of The Dying," and focus on one point in particular.

THE FIVE REGRETS

Here are the five regrets that Bronnie discovered in working with those patients close to death over the years:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Here is what Ware had to say about the first point, the courage to be true to self and not others:

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

DON'T LET IT BE YOUR REGRET

It takes courage to be true to yourself and who God created you to be. Before David went out to fight Goliath, King Saul tried to have David wear his (Saul's) battle armor.  Saul was a tall man, however, and the armor didn't fit.  David did not try and please the king. Instead he rejected the armor and took along his sling shot, something that was more true to who he was.  His success is legendary (see 1 Samuel 17:38-40).

Are you wearing someone else's armor?  If you are, then you are headed for the number one regret expressed by the dying.  Don't do it!  I cannot say what you should do, but I can only urge you to follow your heart and stop living your life for someone else, unless however it is for the Lord.  I was challenged by this list and I hope you are, too.  Now get about the work of living before it's too late. Have a great week!

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KENYA LIBRARY UPDATE:  We were able to ship 179 boxes weighing a total of 7,500 pounds to Texas to be containered for shipment to Kenya. You can read about it here.  My thanks to so many who made this next step possible, but stay tuned:  We will need more help before this is all complete.

PURPOSEQUEST ASSESSMENT:  Don't forget to take the free Purpose Assessment on my website to determine where you may be on your individual purpose journey.  Then let me know how I can help you be even more purposeful.

522: Succcccess

Don't write to tell me I misspelled succcccess. I did it on purpose because this week I want to start a series on the five c's in succcccess.  Since success only has two, I thought I would add three more for effect.  So without further ado, let me spell out for you those five c's.

THE FIRST THREE

I am currently co-teaching a class on "A Love and Theology for the City" and I was discussing with the students what it takes to launch and sustain succcccessful initiatives in poor areas.  The longer I thought about it, I realized that what it takes to succccceed in urban work and ministry is the same as what it takes to be succcccessful in any other area as well.  Armed with that conclusion, let's dive into the first three c's.

1. Curiosity.  If you want to know where to start in your quest for purposeful succcccess, start with your curiosity. Answer the question, "What interests you?" and then follow the answers. Too often you may try to "figure out" how you can make money from that interest and, if you can't see how, you abandon your interests. You must be careful not to do that. Follow your interests and see where they lead you.  God can take some of the simplest things and help you turn them into a business, organization, or project that will bless or edify others.

2. Creativity. I have written extensively on creativity and you can read some of what I have written here. Suffice it to say here that you were created by the Creator in His image, which is to be creative.  There is no end of your ability to be creative as you express your life experience as seen through your eyes. Adam named all the animals in the Garden and he used his God-given creativity to do so.  What assignment has God given you that require you to do the same?

3. Competence. God does not promote people with potential. He promotes those who have developed their potential. You need to become the best you that you can be, and that will require work, training, education, apprenticeship, spiritual disciplines and godliness. There are no shortcuts to obtaining any of those aspects of life, so don't even look for them. There is only one way to develop yourself and that is to invest time, money and effort into becoming more effective tomorrow than you are today. 

THE LAST TWO

Now let's look at the last two c's in succcccess. 

4. Collaboration.  You will need to team and partner with other people if you are going to make a major impact in your life's work.  You can't do it all. Rather you must do what you do best and team with others who do what they do best that will contribute to the overall effort.  What's more, you must know your own strengths and weaknesses and understand how your personality and characteristics will best mesh (or cause some friction) with others.

5. Commitment. You will be tested in your resolve to finish the task at hand.  God will use your failures and setbacks to conform you to Christ's image.  If you faint in the heat of the day, you will not be able to achieve your dreams or fulfill your purpose.  Winston Churchill once addressed an audience of youth and he said, "Never, never, never, never, never give up."  Then he sat down.  That's all he said, but it was great advice. As long as you have breath, stay the course.

There you have the five keys to succcccess.  We will take a closer look at each one over the next five weeks and learn how to apply and develop them all in your life. I have not included any Bible verses this week but don't worry, there will be plenty in the weeks to come.  In the meantime, meditate on these five concepts and, while you are doing so, have a great week!

    You can respond to this entry on the site where it is posted.

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KENYA UPDATE: We have secured space for one of the libraries in Kenya!  There's no turning back now.  Read Pastor Peter's thank you here and then give generously to The Big Blessing project that is desgned to raise money for food, books, and jobs in Kenya.  You can send a check to PurposeQuest, PO Box 8882, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0882 or give through Paypal on my website.  $280 came in last week, so we are off to a great start. 

The New Monday Memo

Dear Friend,

Well, here we are, with a new format and service for The Monday Memo.  I thought I would send an abbreviated version today.  Please be patient with me as I figure out all the specifics that will go with this new format.  As I stated in a Memo ealier this year, I maintained my mailing lists far longer than I should have, so that this change was long overdue.  Now there will be a learning curve as together we get used to these changes.  Here are some announcements and things for you to remember:

1.  If you need to change your address to which this is sent, I would recommend that you click on this new link (or just look to the right of this post if you are at the actual site) and it will take you to a place where you can subscribe using your new email address.  Once that is completed, you can hit the unsubscribe link that should be at the bottom of this screen.  I would make sure the new address goes through before you unsubscribe the old one.

2.  If you would like to unsubscribe, just click the link below (if you receive this as an automatic message).  If you would like to add a gift subscription, please follow the procedure outlined in point one above and let the person know that the gift subscription is coming from you--so they don't think I am sending them uninvited spam.

3.  All The Monday Memos should also be stored here at this new link.  If for any reason you don't receive your weekly Memo or delete it, you can come here to pick yours up.

4.  The Bible studies will follow the same procedure, once we figure out how to send the 8-page attachment in such a way as to not cause you problems when you download it. I will send out a notice with instructions for the Bible study when that problem is solved.

5.  I will be in Kenya from May 2 to May 11.  If you would like to book a profiling/purpose appointment or would like to have me speak at your church or organization, please email me at your earliest convenience. 

6.  I will be back in Zimbabwe from May 11-June 25, with some side trips booked during that time.  If you would like to meet with me or schedule me to come to your church or business, please email me as soon as possible. 

If this message goes through as it should, then I plan on resuming The Monday Memo this coming Monday using this service.  Thank you for your patience as we have searched for a solution to the wonderful problem of adding more and more people to my mailing list. 

If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to email me.  Again, please be patient as I may have to send you another message changing something I have established in this entry as we find out what works and what doesn't.  My thanks again to David and Bill for all their help in this process.  And thank you for your patience as well.

In Him,

John Stanko

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